The Barn Swallow
I finished drawing a barn swallow onto a canvas and began mixing paint to color it in. I mixed blue and grey for the head and wings, and brown and orange for the chest. When I finished painting in the bird, it suddenly began to flap its wings. I jumped back in awe. I wasn’t sure if it was real or a strange dream. I hid behind my desk and waited. The barn swallow then let out a piercing “cheep, cheep!” I grabbed a tennis racket in case it came after me. After a couple minutes of observing the bird from behind my desk, I realized it wasn’t real. It was some sort of audible hologram. I lit a cigarette in disbelief. Finally, in order to set it free, I walked up to the canvas, dipped my brush in azure blue, and painted in a sky.
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Picasso vs. Dali
I hammered some nails into a wall at the local church. The church gave me permission to hang a painting in their hidden poker room. I’m not religious, but the church and I have a professional relationship. The painting the Father requested is a portrait of Salvador Dali and Pablo Picasso engaged in a heated arm-wrestling match. Picasso has the upper hand in the painting, but the hidden meaning is Dali let him win. This is evident by the smirk on Dali’s face, and Picasso’s strained look. I finished hammering the nails into the wall and placed the painting in the center of the room. I finished my coffee and headed home. I forgot to mention, the painting is called One vs. Two.