Poetry |

“After Grace” and “Years After the Abortion, Continually Nightmared”

After Grace

 

Tea of conversation over burnt toast

and black currant jam.

Breakfast tea in a pre-warmed pot,

 

leaves pressed into the infuser,

offered strong with brown sugar cubes.

Tea of confessions. A shimmering world

 

of grace, with eggs for breakfast

and a tea pantry of iridescent tins with

luminosity in rows — a gallery exhibit

 

of Earl Grey; the Prince

of Wales, Darjeeling, Oolong.

Each night another aromatic visitation

 

as Grace, Paul’s mum,

brings her trilogy of thick albums

from the highest bookshelf —

 

tea-stained photographs of a shy girl

from Liverpool — born between

the wars. Grace of survival.

 

Grace born of the dockyards

and steel strip mills, whose geologist

son travels into the Himalayas,

 

to Goa, to Assam. Paul’s postcard

arrives from West Bengal: Teatime!

A picture of five hundred women

 

kneeling to pluck leaves, their baskets

filled on this night of summer solstice:

the most luxurious tea in the world.

 

In the English market each Thursday,

cozies and strainers, alchemical objects

unaltered for millennia.

 

A pinch of leaves left in a teacup:

an acorn, an owl, telling the future

displeased with what it sees.

 

Tea-flavored mints at the midnight

pharmacy to disguise whisky

or weed at the back of a boy’s breath.

 

The sky, tea-colored, against

poplars and lindens,

mirroring a teapot-shaped pond.

 

Tea tales so high they tumble

into the next century.

Tea mother who taught infant school

 

who traveled to class via scooter

commuting along the Calthorpe Close.

Grace of the cigarette

 

and the tea towel, the late night

cheese and onion sandwiches.

Grace of the inquisitive mind

 

imbibing Midnight’s Children,

in love with the Life of Pi.

Tea of generosity.

 

Grace’s wealth measured out in lemon balm,

in well-used spoons. Messages

she writes now on teabag-sized post-it notes:

 

I am 88 years old. I am grandmother to Rebecca, to Ellie.

Grace featured on the BBC news,

the poster woman for Dementia Friends.

 

and once-upon-a-time Grace who took me in,

a temporary immigrant/illegal alien

who became my closest friend, over tea.

 

*     *     *     *     * 

 

Years After the Abortion, Continually Nightmared

 

If you would leave me in peace — but instead you accompany me to parties,

ski weekends, blues cafes. You float by at a distance — slight glimmer

 

from the far corner of the bar and look — sexy as ever — mean as a brilliant accountant

is mean, without malice. You stare at my body, track its pounds per inch

 

through the world. Judge the change in my lipstick. You come from behind,

saunter nearer, note my salary, my car payment — divide and itemize the economics

 

of our three-country break-up, our so long. You jot it all down in inscrutable lines

and then as if in a film noir, you disappear into smoke, into jazz riffs —

 

defined again by your decision, as I am: cleaving closer to this spectral goodbye.

Contributor
Susan Rich

Susan Rich is the author of five books, most recently Cloud Pharmacy (2014, White Pine). She co-edited The Strangest of Theatres: Poets Crossing Borders (McSweeney’swith Catherine Barnett and Ilya Kaminsky. Her newest book, A Gallery of Postcards and Maps: New and Selected Poems is forthcoming from Salmon Press.

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